Thursday, February 22, 2007

like mother like son

once again its been reaffirmed that my son looks like me! its so fun...especially because he very obviously looks like his daddy...and most people see that first. but here is the proof! wish we still had that blue dress!:)

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

sentimental journey

throughout my day i have flashbacks of my life....people, places, experiences, conversations...they just jump into my thoughts which then jump into my emotions. they can really throw me for a loop!

many times they are happy, sometimes just wierd, and then theres the sappy sad moments. sappy sad isnt bad...just sappy sad. i find myself growing from all kinds of de ja vu...all kinds of recollections, rememberings, reflections...flashbacks. but they jump in as a response to something that jars the memory...a smell, a vision, a picture, a story, a similarity, a song, a word, the weather....on an on...a familiar pattern evolves , evoking scenes from the past. the past that is so apart of me; so apart of us all, yet we tend to dissolve the finer details so that we can focus on the day to day business of survival. i find these rememberings to really spice up my life...creating a deeper level of existance...our own history...grow from it or dare repeat it right?

history creates the very person we are today..the person our current circle of peeps, who maybe have only known us for the most recent chunk of life, identify us as. yet those who remember as as children, or young adults...have more history to define us with. learning from our history is more important than having an imaculate (aka boring) life. taking chances makes a life worth living. i love looking back at all the people who have come in and out of my life through the years! each one leaving behind a trace, or a heap of their own history inside my identity, my philosophy, my self. its a fascinating thing; how relationships weave such diverse patterns of identity within all of us.

a sentimental journey indeed....and as i age it becomes even more so...i love my flashbacks nomatter the response...bc it reminds me where i come from , what ive learned and where im going.

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

things that go bump in the early early am

grant woke at 6am....much to my dismay. his alarm clock is actually his first poo of the whenever that urge comes....awake he is...cooing and playing with his hands..and swatting at mama..maybe even pulling her hair or giving her a lip piercing.

he doesnt crawl...but he does lunge...and lunging should be considered an extreme sport....its requires limited inhibition...and it can cause ouchies. baby bear lunged for i think his dr seuss book and hit his head BOOM on a little baby step stool in his room. oh the tears...oh the rage...oh the indignity! luckily he is a tough little guy...and only cries for less than a minute. but his pride was still hurt...and he was a little fussy the rest of the morning. it may sure left a bright red mark! the beginning of many many such ouchies...mobility and ouchies seem to correlate quite directly.

papa bear took baby for a stroll last night while mama taught piano. it was so lovely! baby has been getting out and about now that the weather isnt icelandic.

looks like we may be getting visitors this weekend! grandma baba and grandma lo are planning on making the trip! we are so excited to see them.

Monday, February 19, 2007

hope is out there!

i felt it....i felt it and saw it and tasted it...ok maybe not tasted it...but yet it was in the air and on the breeze...SPRING IS AROUND THE CORNER! yes indeed need to go locking yourself in the garage with the car running....we can make it!

this weekend i had a slight cabin fever related meltdown on saturday night. i just want to go outside...but it was frigid with snow i felt locked down. however....sunday arrived with a warmth that renewed my spirit! so grant and i went for a stroll. it was fabulous! his little bundle me (the thing that keeps him warm in the car seat without need for a coat etc) was in the he ended up wearing my snow suit from almost 34 years ago! looked like a little angel...a girl angel too :). i had been wanting to try it on him...for sentiment's this challenge/opportunity was the perfect excuse. he loved his walk and even stayed awake for half of it....giggling at me ...showing me his big ole tooth. we had fun and i came back a new woman.

Baby bear plays catch now! Its such a fun game. he loves letting loose of whatever is in his hand and then recovering it just to repeat. Well papa started showing him how to make it a 2 person game...and the rest is history. Its a blast playing ball with a 7 month old! and i love watching him using different hands to grab it. however...i do save him from lunging for it if its outta his reach...mama dont let him smash his face whenever possible.

Friday, February 16, 2007


My son suprised me yet again yesterday by showing me not one but 2 pearly whites! So THATS what this crazy week of fussy/sleepless nights has been about! DUH MOM! I had been focusing on the vaccs from Monday...and the cold that we are sharing. Of course all 3 variables surely had their influence on his cranky behavior...but the tooth had to lead the way for annoyances.

Baby bear is 7 months 9 days old! Its unbelievable how time flies. He is such a precious little guy with a fun personality. You should have seen him flirt with the baby at Red Fortune on valentines night. He just is a social butterfly.

Im excited to finally have the prints from almost all the pics showcased on our photobucket site. Now Im working on getting them organized and in the album. Its hard keeping up with documenting the first year...but im trying. For instance...last night between laundry, straightening up a tornado of a house and nursing, I entered baby bear's new tooth info, weight from mondays dr visit and a few little details about favorites etc, in his baby book. Oh ya...bear bear weighs a hefty 19 pounds, 8 ounces and is 27 inches long. That means he is is still gaining an average of a pound a month..which is fine. His legs are just squeezable!


Thursday, February 15, 2007

mommy brain

whenever i hear news about something wonderful or tragic happening to someone....i immediately think of their parents...or their mother specifically...and how she must feel. now that i am a parent, i function on a different level....a different plane..on all levels - emotional, physical & spiritual. i am somehow connected to all the mothers who have ever existed. the joy and pain associated with growing & tending another soul is enormous, huge, gigantic; bigger than anything else i have ever experience...or most likely ever will.

of course, i have always been a highly emotional person. i have been feeling others pain since i can remember. whether it was my brothers or my parents, then my friends and then as a teenager the burden of the world was upon me! even still, i must censor my movie intake, because of the sheer stress of experiencing the characters tribulations! i know thats rediculous...but its difficult for me to separate from the piece. i suppose i am emtionally raw or something.

today i grief for the local mother who lost her only daughter last night in a drunk driving accident. the 19 year old was close to home...and driving safely when another crashed into her. how can a mother survive such a loss? it can be must be done...but notheless HOW? my own mother has survived the death of her first born son - my brother Gary. she is such an example of strength & endurance. im still in awe of she continues to live voraciously... & as she continues to grieve...while a piece of her is missing on this earth.

here is a toast to all the mamas out there....our joys, our aches..are essentially one ...the love of a mother.

Monday, February 5, 2007


The deed is done! Ive been meaning to get a new blog going since...since a long time ago. I abandoned the yahoo site when Grant was born...and with Swanwood we are on blogspot. WOO HOO. Soon to follow an actual, valid, hopefully interesting entry. YAE!!