Thursday, February 15, 2007

mommy brain

whenever i hear news about something wonderful or tragic happening to someone....i immediately think of their parents...or their mother specifically...and how she must feel. now that i am a parent, i function on a different level....a different plane..on all levels - emotional, physical & spiritual. i am somehow connected to all the mothers who have ever existed. the joy and pain associated with growing & tending another soul is enormous, huge, gigantic; bigger than anything else i have ever experience...or most likely ever will.

of course, i have always been a highly emotional person. i have been feeling others pain since i can remember. whether it was my brothers or my parents, then my friends and then as a teenager the burden of the world was upon me! even still, i must censor my movie intake, because of the sheer stress of experiencing the characters tribulations! i know thats rediculous...but its difficult for me to separate from the piece. i suppose i am emtionally raw or something.

today i grief for the local mother who lost her only daughter last night in a drunk driving accident. the 19 year old was close to home...and driving safely when another crashed into her. how can a mother survive such a loss? it can be must be done...but notheless HOW? my own mother has survived the death of her first born son - my brother Gary. she is such an example of strength & endurance. im still in awe of she continues to live voraciously... & as she continues to grieve...while a piece of her is missing on this earth.

here is a toast to all the mamas out there....our joys, our aches..are essentially one ...the love of a mother.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Paula, i read all u wrote and" WOW" did i cry. It was very touching and u really are a sensitive to people's feelings and we need more people in this world like you and your like your mom. You know sometimes you might wish you weren't so sensitive to others because it can wear you out if u let it.What u said about Gary and your mom really hit me because i hurt for her alot with lossing Gary.Of course it hurt everyone of us ,but your Mom it was amazing how she did what she did ,her strength to go through school and all she did during that time was awesome how God helped her and of course her strong spirit as well.Well anyways the whole thing u shared on your pregnancy and the giving birth was neat to read. I think Dave is an awesome husband for you , you to are a PERFECT match. Well I Love You and you two are AWESOME PARENTS and Grant is BLESSED to have you both .Love, Kim Thanks For Sharing and all the videos .