throughout my day i have flashbacks of my life....people, places, experiences, conversations...they just jump into my thoughts which then jump into my emotions. they can really throw me for a loop!
many times they are happy, sometimes just wierd, and then theres the sappy sad moments. sappy sad isnt bad...just sappy sad. i find myself growing from all kinds of de ja vu...all kinds of recollections, rememberings, reflections...flashbacks. but they jump in as a response to something that jars the memory...a smell, a vision, a picture, a story, a similarity, a song, a word, the weather....on an on...a familiar pattern evolves , evoking scenes from the past. the past that is so apart of me; so apart of us all, yet we tend to dissolve the finer details so that we can focus on the day to day business of survival. i find these rememberings to really spice up my life...creating a deeper level of existance...our own history...grow from it or dare repeat it right?
history creates the very person we are today..the person our current circle of peeps, who maybe have only known us for the most recent chunk of life, identify us as. yet those who remember as as children, or young adults...have more history to define us with. learning from our history is more important than having an imaculate (aka boring) life. taking chances makes a life worth living. i love looking back at all the people who have come in and out of my life through the years! each one leaving behind a trace, or a heap of their own history inside my identity, my philosophy, my self. its a fascinating thing; how relationships weave such diverse patterns of identity within all of us.
a sentimental journey indeed....and as i age it becomes even more so...i love my flashbacks nomatter the response...bc it reminds me where i come from , what ive learned and where im going.
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