Monday, March 17, 2008

Metamorphis in Progress: Career out SAHM in

Happy St. Patricks Day people. Are you wearing your green underwear? I sure hope so lest you get abducted by Leprechauns and forced to drink green beer till you are green in the face.....hmmm...Im thinking now I need to try for the latter. But no..here I sit in my professional cage staring at the screen day dreaming about the future. Hey I love my job, but I would still rather be somewhere else.

We are planning to move...waiting for the house to sell. Its so much fun being in limbo. Please do feel the sarcasm in that font. Besides the typical pre move jitters and stress, there are a host of rather large decisions to be made which have me taking handfuls of xanax. No sarcasm there. But maybe there. Anyhoo, I need to decide between career advancement and being a stay at home mom slash stay at home taking care of elderly parents kinda person. The choice would be made easier if the monetary equation was not so sketchy, but it is.

Point being I have wanted to stay at home with Grant since he was born. Yes I know it is harder than working outside the home I serious do. I also know I would get sick of it fast, but more importantly I want to savor his toddlerhood. There are only 3.5 short years before he is off to school...where the world will find him ho hum.

I also want to help my Mom and Dad. We have not lived in the same city for almost a decade but now they are getting to the age where they could use some help. This is exponentially intensified by the fact that my dear old pop has Alzheimer's. It has really become an issue lately. So they are considering moving with us to this new place and living as neighbors so we can help them and they can be with Grant more.

However, financially we would be regressing. We actually would be legally poor. I know lots of families who take a financial hit in order to have a stay at home parent...and I for one am willing to do so. I have plans to bring in some income through piano lessons, running errands for home bound seniors, walking dogs and pet sitting and even working a few hours at the family business. I do have to make enough money to pay for insurance and any savings we hope to accumulate. It is hard to think of being poor...but it is even more difficult to think of changing jobs & working more hours (because right now I am spoiled with a 35 hour a week schedule) while uprooting my 20 month old from his beloved day care, leaving the home he has ever known and throwing him into a totally new day care. Sounds TERRIBLE. I just wont do it.

So this of course means that I am taking a career hiatus. I'm fine with it. I know that life is more than titles and income. I know that the next 3 years are ridiculously precious and that never again in my life will I have a chance to relive them. It is scary....to put aside what I have worked so hard to create career wise...but I am willing and ready. Now I just have to convince my husband!

4 comments:

Stacy Light Mygatt said...

Don't overly stress yourself! You are so freaking strong and a great mentor and peer for all.

And kids, wow. They adapt to change so quickly, it' crazy! If Mom and Dad are cool with it, they seem to roll right along too.

I didn't know about your dad. That just stinks and isn't fair.

I know you'll make the right decision. You always do

Diane said...

I recently left my career to stay home with my baby son. It was a very difficult decision and I do miss the income and the comraderie of my coworkers. On the plus side, I love seeing my son grow and learn new things. It is much harder to be at home. There are days I seriously consider looking into daycare and going back to work. However, like you, I feel that these early years are really important. What has helped me is to have a small group of supportive moms to talk to regularly and have "playdates." The money issue is the hardest. In some ways, life isn't as expensive now as it was when I worked and was childless--we don't go to restaurants four times a week because I am home to cook meals. I don't use as much gas as before. There are other savings too. (such as not spending money of work clothes anymore!) Whatever you choose to do, it will work out for you. Good luck!!
(by the way, I saw your link on the Feminist housewives site!)

Beth is wfg said...

Moving sucks. I've moved every 2-3 years since I got married...and it bites every time. Hope it goes smoothly for you!

renee - 21st Century Parenting said...

I feel you on EVERY aspect EXCEPT caring for ailing parents. That is an issue that will be faced more frequently as the years progress... but I'm thankful to not have to think about that one yet.

However, I've lived in Florida for 6.5 years, and this is my 7th address! AND---> I've been at this address for over 2 years! What does that tell you! Yeah, moving sucks. But it's true that "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger".

AND, I'm there w/you on the career front too! Although the more I try to embrace the SAHM/WAHM situation (which is utterly contrary to my fiercely independent nature), the more my career tries to stalk me! lol

:good vibes:
renee