Job Interview!

Holy cats! Remember that job I applied for...that I really did not want because I do not want to send my child to a new day care post move and instead be with him the last 3 years before he goes off to kindergarten?

Remember that job that I subconsciously tried to sabotage by including with my resume package a "Flexible Work Proposal" that stated the reasons why they should let me work 3 days a week instead of 5+? This was my way to somehow balance career and motherhood....to work outside the home and subsequently make the difference between border line poverty and comfortable middle class...yet still send my child to day care less days a week than not.

Well they called today to set up an interview!!!!! What a strange predicament I am finding myself in. I am flattered that they are interested in me.....still...even with my bold proposal...yet I am torn because I am so very set on NOT sending Grant to a new day care after the move. The move alone will stress us all out...but then to plant him in a completely new environment a mother can NEVER be 100% certain about....sounds terrible. Besides the fact that this very well may be my only opportunity to escape the office and instead be a stay at home most the time except when we are having adventures and exploring our world MOM. I have been lusting after this very moment for years...ever since his birth. And now that it is oh so very close (tomorrow is my last full day at my present job)....this crazy situation has presented itself.

The part of me that is still playing with the idea of working part time:

*Is intrigued by the income...that would allow us to save for emergencies, save for retirement, have better insurance and expendable income (do I hear sushi?)

*Is taunted by ego. I worked hard for my degree...and have worked hard in my field. There is a certain level of identity that goes along with that. Moving up the career ladder and staying on top of my "game" is thrilling. If I did not have a child...there would be no indecisiveness here.

*Is amazed by the timing and coincidences that has led up to this position opening...again! To sum it up in a nutshell....I have applied for this job already once before..last October...and ended up being #2 out of 71 applicants...loosing out to decades of experience. Then a few months later the Director (my former college teacher) resigned after 28 years! and the new Assistant was then promoted. Now the darn assistant position is open again...in the city we are now moving to. Its like I almost have to try for it since it seems to be landing in my lap (of course I am saying that before I even got the job...but I just mean...the circumstances are leading me to it).

* Part time would be better than full time. I would have more time with Grant than I do presently.

Overall....my emotional, crazy moving experience has just been upped a notch. My plan has been rocked. It should be an easy decision I suppose...be a stay at home mom....but its not exactly that easy. There is more at stake here...primarily financial. I will go ahead and attend the interview (1 day after I move there...how CRAZY is that?Sounds like I will be a tad frazzled.) and see what happens. If they do not offer me the job...well then...the decision has been made! I have never gone bra less to an interview before...should be interesting (by the way...bra less for me..although common..is NOT attractive (anymore).