Senior Olympics

GAMES FOR WHEN WE ARE OLDER

1. Sag, you're It.

2. Hide and go pee.

3. 20 questions shouted into your good ear.

4. Kick the bucket

5. Red Rover, Red Rover, the nurse says Bend Over.

6. Musical recliners.

7. Simon says something incoherent.

8. Pin the Toupee on the bald guy

SIGNS OF MENOPAUSE:

1. You sell your home heating system at a yardsale.

2. You have to write post-it notes with your kids'names on them.

3. You change your underwear after a sneeze.

OLD IS WHEN:

1. Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of yourface.

2. You don't care where your spouse goes, just aslong as you don't have to go

along.

3. Getting a little action means I don't need fibertoday.

4. Getting lucky means you find your car in theparking lot.

5. An all-nighter means not getting up to pee!

THOUGHTS FOR A SLOW WEEK:

Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up ourlife we could simply press 'Ctr Alt Delete' and start allover?

Just remember, if the world didn't suck, we'd allfall off.

If raising children was going to be easy, it neverwould have started with something called labor!

Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.