However, since that time I have turned about face. Instead of trying to get pregnant (on my own which another post altogether) I am instead relaxed and content with my family of 3. As soon as I stopped wanting...a huge burdon was lifted off my shoulders. It was quite dramatic.
Now we (I) do not have to go through 3 trimesters of varying degrees of discomfort and maternal wondering. We are free from the sleepless newborn phase. We do not have to figure out how to give them both of them enough attention, structure or a college education. My husband and I don't have to go back in time...or regress...we can just focus on the future and move forward with our already 21 month old. This is very much a relief.
So for now....I just enjoy dear Grant to the fullest and am grateful that we were able to bring him into the world to join us in the journey of life. He IS enough (more than enough truly). And we will make sure that he has ample access to lots of little friends wherever we may go so that he is never lonely for peers. And when he asks us why he is an only child we will tell him that