Friday, November 16, 2007

Family Planning

Its just human soon as you get married...people start asking you when the babies are coming. It can get pretty annoying. Ok it can be downright rude. Then when you go ahead and give birth..the pushiness doesnt someways it rises to another level of abrasiveness, "When you having another?", "You better get busy, your son is already 1 year old", "It is cruel to have an only child" on and on and on. Beyond the peer pressure....I really do want to have another though.

Between my dear husband and myself...I am the one who wanted a child. When my biological clock started clicking loudly in my age 31...all of a sudden I wanted to be a mother and SOON. I realized my eggs werent getting any younger. My husband (then boyfriend)wasnt too keen on the idea as he is cheap hehe and lazy hehe..but i guess i changed his mind or else he did it for me...but he did feel strongly about being married if we were going that we got married...and within 2.5 months we were pregnant! WOO HOO. baby making is amazing.

Now let us skip to the present....grant is 16 months old. No i dont want to go through the sleepless nights that a newborn i dont really want to be pregnant again (even though i truly enjoyed it the first time around). I would just miss sushi too much hehe. Grant had a tumultuous first year. He was sick ALOT. He was not a "normal" child. He stressed us the hell out. Maybe that is why my husband is now staunchly opposed to having any more children. Or maybe its just because, as he puts it, he is DONE. He doesnt want the stress that another child would bring. HOWEVER....what about Grant? What about me? Excuse me mister but you are just one piece to our family puzzle and you need to consider our feelings along with the big picture here.

I would LOVE to give grant a sibling. I feel that it is a gift to him...and to me and his father really. Yes he can be perfectly happy and healthy as an only child...but what could his life be like if he could share it with another? Seems to me like it just gets richer. I told my husband to imagine his life without his 6 siblings (i really thought that would be a slam dunk). but didnt phase him bc he the overwhelming cost of the child alone has him stuck in a rut. I myself had 2much older brothers (down to one due to an early death :( of the eldest), and was kinda raised as an only just due to the fact that they didnt live with us...and i cried and begged my mom to give me a sister. I was LONELY!!!!!!! I am still jealous of sisters. Luckily i have a close relationship with my mom, but other than that, I dont have any super close women friends (unfortunately)...and i crave the intimacy that sisters (who enjoy each other) have.

Point being....I want to have another baby...but DH doesnt. I havent pushed the issue because grant was still a baby himself and I was in no rush. However...time is passing...and its a good time to start dialogue again and in my mind...start persuading the man to MAKE A BABY WITH ME.

Sure we cant really afford it (especially after the move when I wont be a career woman for awhile)...and the insurance situation will be iffy (actually the state we are moving too only offers maternity as a rider! no insurance just has it). Sure our life is full right now. Sure grant is enough. But the what ifs are just too much. I want to give it a shot. Now I have to convert my dear husband...and he is a very stubborn man. Oh and he has already warned me not to sick family and friends on him to manipulate him (bummer). Otherwise I would totally do that during our Thanksgiving visit!

So thats where Im complete the family.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Awwww...I feel your pain. I believe only children are deprived too! My sis and I are somewhat close, and even though our relationship may not be "ideal" (whatever that means), I am so grateful. We are two and a half years apart. It seems like you guys are pretty fertile, so you probably have a little time, but it's best to plant the seed now. NO pun intended.

Have a lovely weekend, lady!