R.I.P. Blue Moon Rainbow

So I guess most of you do not know that I was married for 10 years to my first husband. I spent my 20s with him...and together we share 3 dogs...they were our kids. We ended up splitting up the kids because of the divorce. I kept the 2 girls and he kept the youngest, and only boy....Moon (he was the colors of the moon). Visitation rights were detailed within the divorce papers...but soon my ex was using Moon as a pawn and denied us the right to see him. I did not feel like taking legal action...so I let it go...figuring that maybe ex was right...and the process of leaving him over and over was indeed hard on him. Eventually the ex opened up visitation again..but by that time I had decided it was too hard on me...and stopped seeing Moon altogether. It was a VERY difficult decision...but my council encouraged me to cut the cord...by letting Moon go I could stop getting sucked back into the emotional drain that dealing with my ex always was. Our dogs were just another product of divorce...dystfunctional dogs I suppose.

Well this morning I heard the sad news that Moon had passed on. He was the baby! Just 12 years old and still he went first. Supposedly he had been sick for awhile and on medication. Ex called my husband's mother so she could let me know (the 3 of us were good friends for many yeasr back in the day). He doesnt have our contact information anymore. We decided to cut all contact with him because it was just such a drain every time. He always had some sad story...and honestly..I do not want to give him my energy anymore. I have a new life now...a much better one too...and it is healthier for me to stay focused on the now.



At first I was very detached from the news....as I have learned to protect myself from my ex this way. However as the day moves along...my grief has come to the surface and I am very sad. I went to his webpage at dogster.com and updated it. I know it sounds silly...but that page was my tribute to him and it did give me some closure to be able to visit "him" and keep his memory alive in that way. I wish we could have kept the "kids" together. They were a tight knit pack. He was the mischievious little boy who added spice to the old girl's lives. I have the CUTEST picture I will have to scan tomorrow of the 3 of them together right after his adoption. They had some wonderful times together. I always felt bad after the divorce that he was all alone...after knowing the joy of siblings. Breaks my heart. And then he died all alone..in his little bed while ex was at work. Poor sweet baby. We really let you down.

Rest in Peace sweet Moon. You were a great dog...and you will always have a place in my heart.