My husband has never been fully on board with the co sleeping issue, and it is really causing rifts in our marriage. Yes we are still going strong and are pretty darn healthy overall...but this subject...and parenting in general causes some heated discussions...and for about the past month...my dear husband has been sleeping in another room.
I am torn. I am completely comfortable sharing a bed with my son. Not only do I feel that it fulfills his nighttime needs, but also mine. Yes my sleep is interrupted many times a night, but overall I sleep more because I am not getting up to attend to him. I also enjoy the fact that we can snuggle and be together...especially because I work outside the home and miss those daytime hours. Co sleeping seems natural to me and it is right for me and grant. However...it is not so for my husband.
A loving and tight parental bond is a gift to the child. Everyone of us wants our parents to be madly in love. It is the best environment for raising children. I do understand that by nurturing my relationship with Grant's dad I am giving Grant a powerful foundation for learning, growing, evolving and essentially becoming an amazing human being. I sincerely want that for Grant. I want it for myself as well.
So here I am...in a way...in the middle of my two guys. This sucks. I have 3 people in the mix here...3 interests. I believe that the mother and child (especially when nursing) are a couple of their own sorts the first 2 years. Around that time the child starts separating on their own accord ...a natural development. Grant has the rest of his life to be going solo...I just do not feel the need to push him out of the nest. However, to nurture my husband ( I could so go on an anti man bashing crusade here but that would be stupid) I need to compromise so that our relationship does not suffer. This is tough stuff people.
So what will the compromise be? I have already offered starting a transitional period where Grant learns what "his bed" is. We can start nights here for a while. Of course this whole process will be harder on me that the present arrangement. My sweet husband gets a full nights sleep nomatter the sleeping situation!GRRR. I would rather wait till Grant is 2 or even 3 to do this. I keep telling my husband that even the freaks hehe, who train their babies to sleep alone have many disruptions in sleep. Babies and children just do not sleep like we do. Plan to have your life turned upside down. Period.
Anyhoo this post was much less informational than I would like but I am rushed because my 18 month old wants to go to the park on this gorgeous 50 degree day in January! I wish my husband would just follow my lead and enjoy these very short years where Grant is a baby. The really confusing part is that he appears to enjoy sleeping with us...all grins and smiles upon waking and getting hugs. There is some primal/machismo stuff going down here...and its just way beyond me. I guess I would like to continue to talk about this. I know it is a common issue with co sleeping families...when one parent desires a different arrangement. Till then.....
this article is short and sweet and has the results of multiple studies on the long term effects of co sleeping