HAPPY NEW YEAR !

I hope each of you has an awesome new years eve..and a rockn 2008! Can you believe it is really almost '08? Thats just freaky.

And to recap this amazing year..Im taking a trip down memory lane. Here is the first sentence(or two)from the first post each month of 2007:

January: B.O.J. (before Olive Juice)

February: The deed is done! Ive been meaning to get a new blog going since...since a long time ago.

March: My son is in cognito as a grumpy old sailor...he swears and throws his toys ...just an angry young man...and i cant say that i blame him. he has been sick since last friday...almost a week now!

April: Ahh the sweet smell of victory....this morning I found the baby walker of my dreams....just down the street and a mere $2!

May: Its may its may! may rocks. grant is turning 10 months on monday the 7th. the year has flown by on one hand yet on the other is has crawled in the way of the tortoise.

June: well we just got back from our big florida vacation last night around 9pm.......ahh it does feel good to be home...even if that means lots of dog hair, pounds of mail, umpteem loads of laundry & a stack of receipts that need to be accounted for...oh that sounds scary. anyhoo......the point is.. home is very comforting.

July:whew...we are exhausted! what a weekend. friday morning the grandmas arrived. 8 dozen cupcakes baked, cooled & iced and then we are in the office blowing up 3 dozen balloons! man my finger hurt. 2 sliced watermelons & 4 gallons of lemonade later...we are at the pool. it got a bit crazy the last half hour..but it all turned out good..even great!

August: so you may ask yourself...self..i wonder what grant has been up to this week? hmmmmmmmm......well....ALOT! stubbed toe for the first time...and it isnt healing bc he re injures it...ate dog poop...

September: so in a nutshell...the pediatric asthma/allergist specialist and her posse said that
* grant may very well NOT have asthma
* grant may very well NOT have allergies

October:Despite my worst fears...i actually passed the exam today! WHEW...big sigh of relief. honestly...i didnt think i would.

November: When you hear the word "commune" I bet you invision dirty hippies in the sixties smoking pot and living on love. Would it suprise you to find out that they are still going strong and there is a thriving community of forming and established communes?

December: Name this UFO...as in unidentified floating object!!! OMG i am sooooo disgusted

Best Mom of the Year Award...

Goes to my MOM!!!

How is this for nursing the winter blues?

I have been in a slump. I wont bore you with the details...although a rant and rave pity party sounds good to me at times...but overall...I got the winter blues in a bad way. So this morning...she noticed I was in a rut..and offered to fly me out to Florida in a couple weeks..to meet them for a few days!

At first my life flashed before my eyes...I saw Grant screaming while on flight...and running down the aisle one step beyond my grasp mischeviously gigglin...I saw me alone with a 17 month old, a stroller and carryon bags..standing in line waiting to escape the plane. So I figured I might as well STOP thinking and start booking the flight :).

I was able to find a non stop flight on Southwest. Hopefully they wont cancel that flight and screw me like they (Midwest) did last time. I ended up with multi hour layovers that trip. ANyhoo....now I have something to look forward to and it has boosted my moraled tenfold!

Sure do have tons or work to complete before the 10th though! Florida here we come!

Lookin Good Better

So remember when I decided to start doing something about my pathetic weathered appearance? Well the work has begun. I had my husband take these shots this afternoon before departing for the plaza....to see for myself if it is worth the extra energy...and yes...indeed...I think there is definitely improvement here.

Grant was like..holy cats...who is that lady....



Im like....hey son...its me your ol mom....



and then he knew me and i of course knew him and we were ready to take on the city



Now off to shop for make up!

What are you into this Month?

This Month...

The Thing I've Been Working On The Most: Meal planning, selling the house, getting a job & disciplining my son...wait thats more than one thing.

TV Show Worth Watching: The Dave Chappelle Show but who has time for TV?

The Christmas Present I'm Loving: Kitchen timer (I can finally stop living on the edge...constantly checking the time and generally forgetting when I put the food in!)

My Favorite Blog Entry From This Month: In Honor of A

Blog I Am Always Visiting: So Close where Tertia writes in a candid, humorous and real way about raising her twins, being a career woman and wife, the frustrations of fertility challenges and the reality of aging. She is V hilarious.

Movie I’ve Seen (In or Out of a theater): Amadeous...which was even better the 4th time around. Mozart was a freakazoid!

What I'm Most Looking Forward To Next Month: Hearing back from that job I applied for and hopefully going to an interview!

Feel free to share what you're into, too...and link it at Adventures in Babywearing

What is Normal Birth?

"The modern birth has been so managed, arranged, choreographed, augmented, drugged, sliced and diced that many of us have forgotten its very nature" Valerie El Halta

I really want to see the movie "The Business of Being Born". Although I can pretty much see it in my minds eye already. Have you ever noticed that your friends and family are having "complicated" pregnancies and births? How many times have you heard that the baby is very large and they have to induce? Then the baby turns out to be just average size. HMMMMM...whats wrong with this picture? Or how about...the Dr just wants to go on vacation or watch football on his/her day off? So lets go ahead and schedule.

Birth is normal. Birth is natural. Birth does not have to be treated like an illness....well unless you want to make money from it. Doctors are trained on what to do when something goes wrong...which is excellent...if something does actually go wrong...and sure it can. Unfortunately...they tend to look at the process as a half full kinda thing. Sure your body was made to do this and has been doing a dang good job of it ....since forever...since before modern medicine...but dog gone it...you need them! You, WOMAN, certainly cannot do it on your own. Besides the fact that you dont know anything about having babies. They went to school for a decade just so you could ride shotgun.

The problem with hospital birth...is that your rights are revoked. They have policy see...that must be adhered to nomatter what. That means...after your wrist band is tightened and you sign on the dotted line...you can say adios to your birth plan. Yes its true that many hospitals are relaxing..and starting to allow for instance...a laboring woman to move about as she pleases (which feels SO much better), not have an IV and some even have birth tubs and allow babes to stay with their mothers 24/7. Very good. Rock on. Kudos.

But most do not. And they are still very much into intervention (see $$ signs). This means...if A doesnt equal B by C then XYZ must occur. If you dont jump high enough...say a quick Hail Mary and get ready to hand over your body to the "professionals". In the mean time they will break your water, screw a fetal monitor into your babies sweet little head, check you dozens of time (fist up your you know where),allow a constant flow of staff and trainees to rotate through the room and sometimes "check you",many times disregard your requests and demands, pump you with drugs to cause pain (induce labor), pump you with drugs to kill pain (epidural), not allow you to push until the magic number 10cm has been reached then force you to push push push the baby out in record speed (even between contractions). Eventually your baby will be given to you (first they have to cause it some pain) then taken away and only brought to you when they see fit. Breastfeeding? Usually they push formula...especially if the baby (remember...they said it was large) needs to gain weight or fight jaundice or pee etc etc. All such nonsense. Oh and you mama...cant leave till you fart. So get to gassin else youll be on house arrest. Dont even think about taking your baby home (who hasnt peed) against medical advice....cause thats negligence and cause for a visit from social services.

Oh and thats IF you escape the 31.1% of mothers who having cesareans either by preference or by force (up 50% in the last 10 years).

Point being here....women are powerful amazing goddesses. Women have babies just fine. You do not need to sell your soul to a doctor or hospital to have a baby. Birth is normal. Birth is empowering and beautiful. I encourage all women to check out all their options (home birth, midwives, doulas, unassisted birth, birth centers) before riding side car for their child's entrance into this world. Stay in control of your body. You will be so glad you did!

Disclaimer: of course there can be true complications and in those cases medical intervention rocks. my point here is that almost all hospital births are treated with intervention which is hard on the mother, the child and the pocket book.

Disclaimer #2: if you did have a wonderful hospital birthing experience i am ecstatic for you and your little one. you are however, the minority in my opinion.

"What is Normal Birth?" Beverley Lawrence Beech

Motherwear Breastfeeding Blog - movie review

"It goes far, FAR beyond not having or having medication at birth... it is an entire mindset of respect for a woman's autonomy and the understanding that CHOICES in birth create the most amazing human beings that walk in our neighborhoods. Damaged women and babies do nothing but hurt the world... why foster the continuation of such cruelty? What is so difficult about giving women the options that are possible in birth? (Oh, that's right... economics!)

It goes 'round and 'round." anonymous

Holidaze

Snow Cones Cure

Turns out that snow makes the perfect teething remedy! Grant has 4 large molars coming in plus who knows how many others are shifting. That combined with the fact that he adores eating the white fluffy stuff...makes for the holiday snow cone cure! This is his 3rd cup of the day!

Alive & Kickin

Grant is sharing my liquid breakfast with me


It is Saturday morning. Friday was a very strange day..spent at St. Francis hospital waiting around, being asked the same questions repeatedly, being poked and prodded and finally sliced open, repaired, sewed up and sent home. Weird stuff.

But everything went GREAT! The hospital was clean and small and friendly. They never kept me waiting endlessly without word. They honored my requests and just overall...it was decent i am very happy to report. My strategy for anxiety control..was just to not allow myself to think about the operation. It worked very well. I had done all the research and worst case scenario drills weeks prior. Now it was just time to lay back and enjoy the process if that is possible. Oh and it is actually.

Acting a stupid


The great news is she didnt need to use mesh so I am still 100% flesh and bone. It was nice and small and tidy. They used MAC anesthesia on me...which ROCKS by the way. They dont use it very much for some odd reason...but it is PERFECT for small surgeries. Its the same drug as general anesthesia....except they just dont give me enough to stop my breathing. The strangest thing that happened was when I could FEEL THE OPERATION so I said.."um....I can freaking feel that" and boom...the lights went out. Next thing I knew the surgery was over and I was getting ready to leave the operative suite. That is so cool though...that I was already recovered before leaving the place! Rock on.

im so freakin hungry i could eat a nurse


Honestly...I was ready to leave by the time I was back in my 24 hour room as they call it. There was no real recovery time. General A you need lots of that. I am really pleased with MAC and am so very very glad that I found it. Yes its not exactly just local a like i had originally thought. But thank god it wasnt because I COULD STILL FEEL the pain under local.

Only bad news is that Im allergic to Vicodin i guess...big rash and a nights worth of mad itching! So now I get to retry Darvocet which made me vomit when i was a teen.

Feeling Sexy


Grant is handing the "boo boo" very well. He likes to put the ice bag on and console me. Unfortunately the little man is sick with a respiratory thingy. Started like croup..with the barking suddenly Thursday night. Now it is a wet and painful cough with runny nose and I believe aches and pains. So he is struggling to be the happy camper I know him to be. He sure is glad Nana and Papa are here though! He LOVEs them so much and I love to watch them interact. It is a beautiful thing and I am so very glad they are here...cause i am SOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEE :)

the best nurse in the world..my mama


my dada


Happy weekend!

27 hours till they cut me open

I have been a very good girl about not worrying about my hernia repair tomorrow. However, the hospital called this morning for my pre op interview...and all those questions and all that information gave me the willies. She was like...we have you down for general anesthesia...i was like...no you di int...and she was like...well i better call your dr...and i was like ...ya you bet ter. its all good though because it did say that I was scheduled for MAC...which after a little investigation revealed that it is a sedative that just reduces anxiety and puts you to sleep but doesnt shut you down. A part of me doesnt want it...but the other part says...garsh paula...just take the easy road for once in your life. so party is on! going to get wasted tomorrow at 2PM hopefully i wont remember a thing.

they are going to do a quantitative blood test to start the show. remember our little pregnancy test 101 a month ago? this is to just make sure i am not prego (bc we are not on birth control...but im not expecting to be or anything). then they start an IV. then they give me an antibiotic (great). then they give me a mild sedative (to shut me up i am guessing). then i give my mom a big hug (and try not to cry and make her sad...but if she starts it..then im hopeless...but im betting she will be super woman strong so as not to upset me hehe)and they roll me on down to the operative suite. sounds lovely doesnt it? i hope there is champagne and a whirlpool overlooking the ocean. next thing i should see...my mom loving face and a ticket outta there. fingers crossed everything goes perfect..and i can be back at home with my son by 7 PM.

I am confident that the surgeon will be well rested tommorrow. I am confident I will heal quickly. I am confident there will be no complications. There hows that for a mantra?

So wish me luck peeps. I just want to get home and be with my son.

Did i mention he is ADORABLE? He tickles now...tickle tickle tickle he says as his little fingers lightly tickle you..and seriously...it TICKLES!!! light tickles are more tickly than hard tickles i think. what about you?




Nana and Papa are on there way...should arrive by 3PM this afternoon. I cant WAIT to see them...and show off my son. They will be very helpful during the recovery too.

Peace out

Germs

1,662,780How Many Germs Live On Your Keyboard?

Looking for payday loan?

One Love

I finally finished reading "Tuesdays with Morrie" last night. It was my bathroom book...and I read it literally one page at a time for the most part. I wish I knew when I started...it was this year ...but pretty early on. Mind you...my bathroom time is rarely spent alone so that also cuts into my reading time.

What a wonderful story. A dying man's discussions with his young student and friend. Very poignant stuff. I wanted to share one of his analogies with you. Its about our interconnectedness and the cycle of life. I meant to bring the book with me this morning..but left it at home. So I googled it, and ended up finding a wonderful well written post on the topic. I have copied a bit of it here for you.



"Humans often teach and preach about the problems that exist in the world and rarely reflect on the pain they feel. We compete against each other; thus creating greater strife. We battle the little boy or girl within. We are never good enough, strong enough, pretty enough, or truly lovable.

As a culture, we create awards for every accomplishment. We acknowledge what is done. The millenniums feel lonely; yet, in school, at home, on the playground parents made sure they were never alone. The boomers think themselves isolated. Mommy and Daddy spent more money, than "quality" time with them. I trust the "silent generation" thought they suffered. The X and Ys also could complain and did.

Humans, I believe are here to learn. The lesson most vital is the one most of us miss. Who are we; why are we here may be essential questions. However, I think these may torment us. Perhaps, if we accept that nothing is more significant than the relationship we have with every other entity, inclusive of ourselves, we could feel more connected and still singularly unique.

Sadly, humans tend to see them selves as separate or an integral part of a group. The world is black or white. I am a winner or a loser. People struggle to realize they are whole, and intertwined. They are not solitary souls or an assemblage. I offer the wisdom of the Wave Story." Betsy Angert

"I heard a nice little story the other day," Morrie says. He closes his eyes for a moment and I wait.
"Okay. The story is about a little wave, bobbing along in the ocean, having a grand old time. He's enjoying the wind and the fresh air -- until he notices the other waves in front of him, crashing against the shore. "
" 'My God, this is terrible,' the wave says 'Look what's going to happen to me!' "
"Then along comes another wave. It sees the first wave, looking grim, and it says to him, 'Why do you look so sad?' "
"The first wave says, 'You don't understand! We're all going to crash! All of us waves are going to be nothing! Isn't it terrible?' "
"The second wave says, 'No, you don't understand. You're not a wave, you're part of the ocean.' "
I smile. Morrie closes his eyes again.
"Part of the ocean," he says. "Part of the ocean." I watch him breathe, in and out, in and out.
- Tuesdays with Morrie, page 179

Fugly Ugly Old & Pugly

My 100 things list ended on a note of me needing to primp a tad more. A tad more than NOTHING would be an improvement indeed. I just came back from a Chamber of Commerce christmas party....and I was by far the most wretched looking thing there. This being said and I was 30 years younger than many of those women.



Maybe I really am still a dirty hippy after all. My hair cut is not that old...but it never was a good cut this go around. Besides that I wake up and put a little water where the bed head is too revealing, run a comb through it, spritz a bit (just to make myself feel like i did something i suppose) and thats is for the hair. Face...just wash and lotion...pluck a few stray hairs when they are far too evident. Professional wardrobe? Old jeans, new socks (woo hoo), new balance, and a baggy, oversized, stained (didnt notice till i got to work though does that make it any better?)shirt. My hands are dry and my fingernails are unkempt. Overall...I look like dog dookie Its bad folks...Its real bad.

When i was in my 20s i could get away with this..and still look cute (ok so i never was one to look in mirrors)...but now I cant. I mean...I dont feel good about it...so thats why i think its time to change. I dont mean big change...like curling irons, blow dryers, thick pancake make up and labels. No...Im just thinking that i should allow myself 5 - 10 minutes each morning to attempt an image that evokes what i feel like inside. Right now my exterior screams, mama who feels old and faded and is maybe a tad sick and definitely doesnt give a rats ass.

Point being here people, I dont want to keep up with mrs jones...or pretend im something i am not...but i guess i do want to look how i feel..and that is pretty (more like cute really). pretty of course is relative...but my version of pretty. one order of pretty coming up :). how about pretty cute?

btw....the difference will very well be invisible to the naked eye...but I will know that i dont stink :)

Im not a proud person at all. Ive always been one to be able to laugh at myself...and today is no different. Laugh with me homies.

pics to come

Red Socks

My son is a fashion icon



notice the lips...vroom vroooooooooommmmm



but with those eyes you dont have to dress cool

Snow Tease

Man weather events are all the rage! It draws more folks to the television than the OJ trial i do believe...and I admit I'm one of them. I never watch the news...unless I want to hear the weather. I dont know why I do it! I fall prey to their crystal ball fortune telling...even though I know they are half guessing. Even with all the fancy gizzmos they use these days to predict weather...they sure are wrong a lot! And by the time it is supposed to snow (3 - 4 days after they start teasing you) I am downright looking forward to a blizzard! Bring it on! I have been getting excited over here...hoping to play in it..and enjoy a winter wonderland. I have postponed major travel and bought extra groceries....so let it snow damn it!



Then the long awaited hour comes and...no snow. In the middle of the night I peak out the window...sure is a draft coming in....but no snow! Morning comes and you guessed it...no snow...well unless you count a dusting. What a bummer! Why all the hype (oh ya...$$...silly me)? They say its cause a dry air pocket developed over the area...so although everyone around us got it...we didn't. I don't care what you call it...where is my snow?



The good news is....it IS snowing..and I think we may have over an inch even. The grass is almost covered in a blanket of the white stuff and my sour puss is getting jolly again. I really need to stop watching the weather forecasts though...they just set me up for disappointment. I would rather be surprised!

oh we are not going to lie to Grant about Santa...but I feel like he can still enjoy him...or from the looks of it...not enjoy him. Its a good thing to fear something this creepy. I had to smooth talk dear husband to allow this event. He think it is absurd...and it kinda is..but this was free and was so much fun! You should have seen the cookies and punch! These pics were mainly to appease the grandparents..they will love it! I'm glad cause its all they are getting for xmas :) (not really..they are the only ones we buy for).



Happy weekend!

What is a billion to you?

I found this on a sports forum of all places..and HAD to share! Its mind boggling!

This is too true to be very funny.

The next time you hear a politician use the word "billion" in a casual manner, think about whether you want the politicians' spending YOUR tax money!

A billion is a difficult number to comprehend, but on advertising agency did a good job of putting that figure into some perspective in one of its releases.

A. A billion seconds ago it was 1959

B. A billion minutes ago Jesus was alive

C. A billion hours ago our ancestors were living in the Stone Age

D. A billion days ago no one walked on the earth on two feet

E. A billion dollars ago was only 8 hours and 20 minutes at the rate the US government is spending it

While this thought is still fresh in our brain, let's take a look at New Orleans. It's amazing what you can learn with some simple division....

Louisiana Senator, Mary Landrieu (D), is presently asking the Congress for $250 BILLION to rebuild New Orleans. Interesting number, what does it mean?

A. Well, if you are one of 484,674 residents of New Orleans (every man, woman and child), you each get $516,528

B. Or, if you have one of the 188,251 homes in New Orleans, your home gets $1,329,787

C. Or, if you are a family of four, your family gets $2,066,012

Washington, D.C.....HELLO!!!!!! Are your calculators broken?

Tax his land,
Tax his wage,
Tax his bed in which he lays.

Tax his tractor,
Tax his mule,
Teach him taxes are the rule.

Tax his cow,
Tax his goat,
Tax his pants,
Tax his coat.

Tax his ties,
Tax his shirts,
Tax his work,
Tax his dirt.

Tax his tobacco,
Tax his drink,
Tax him if he tries to think.

Tax his booze,
Tax his beers,
If he cries,
Tax his tears.

Tax his bills,
Tax his gas,
Tax his notes,
Tax his cash.

Tax him good and let him know,
That after taxes, he has no dough.

If he hollars,
Tax him more,
Tax him until he is good and sore.

Tax his coffin,
Tax his grave,
Tax the sod in which he lays.
Put these words upon his tomb,
"Taxes drove me to my doom!".

And when he's gone,
We won't relax,
We'll still be after the inheritance TAX!!!!!

Accounts Receivable Tax
Building Permit Tax
CDL License Tax
Cigarette Tax
Corporate Income Tax
Dog License Tax
Federal Income Tax
Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA)
Fishing License Tax
Food License Tax
Fuel Permit Tax
Gasoline Tax
Hunting License Tax
Inheritance Tax
Inventory Tax
IRS Interest Charges (tax on top of tax)
IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax)
Liquor Tax
Luxury Tax
Marriage License Tax
Medicare Tax
Medicare Tax
Property Tax
Real Estate Tax
Service charge taxes
Social Security Tax
Road Usage Tax (truckers)
Sales Taxes
Recreational Vehicles Tax
School Tax
State Income Tax
State Unemployment Tax (SUTA)
Telephone Federal Excise Tax
Telephone Federal Universal Service Fee Tax
Telephone Federal, State adn Local Surcharge Tax
Telephone Minimum Usage Surcharge Tax
Telephone Recurring and Non recurring Charges Tax
Telephone State and Local Tax
Telephone Usage Charge Tax
Utility Tax
Vehicle License Registration Tax
Vehicle Sales Tax
Watercraft Registration Tax
Well Permit Tax
Workers Compensation Tax

STILL THINK THIS IS FUNNY?

Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago,
and our nation was the most prosperous in the world.
We had absolutely no national debt, had the largest
middle class in the world!

WHAT HAPPENED?

Tis a Bath Soak!

So if you couldnt read the label....the substance is decedent bath salts. I was inspired after reading up on the benefits of epsom salt. Man that stuff rocks...up there with vinegar and baking soda.

"This pure, time tested mineral compound has hundreds of uses, from health and beauty to household cleaning and organic gardening. Magnesium and sulfates can be ingested from foods or mineral supplements, but both substances are readily absorbed through the skin.

Epsom salts:

soften skin and exfoliates
Provides magnesium, which has been shown to:
Ease stress
Lower blood pressure
Create a happy, relaxed feeling
Raise energy levels

Studies show these benefits from the major components of Epsom Salt may:

Magnesium:

Ease stress and improves sleep and concentration
Help muscles and nerves function properly
Regulate activity of 325+ enzymes
Help prevent artery hardening and blood clots
Make insulin more effective
Reduce inflammation to relieve pain and muscle cramps
Improve oxygen use

Sulfates:

Flush toxins
Improve absorption of nutrients
Help form joint proteins, brain tissue and mucin proteins
Help prevent or ease migraine headaches

For Gardening:

Help seeds germinate
Make plants grow bushier
Produce more flowers
Increase chlorophyll production
Improve phosphorus and nitrogen uptake"

There is ample information on the topic..but the above quote was taken from the Epsom Salt Industry site.

Sooooooooo...my love of epsom led me to research bath salt recipes etc...and i ended up putting my own together. I tried it out the other night and it was very relaxing, luxurious...and super softening. I have eczema on my arms...and it was gone by morning (although it has since reappeared). Its really good for overall health..magnesium/mineral levels in the body often get overlooked bc vitamins are all the rage. That combined with the fact that modern agricultural practices leave our veggies with seriously decreased mineral content! Salts are an easy way to kick start your magnesium.

It was fun finding all the ingredients and then making prototypes and decorating the final product. I must admit im not a crafty person! I often have the best intentions...but then i end up screwing it up before its finished. However...this one didnt end in agony! Hooray! This also makes a great kids craft (hmmm maybe thats why i could handle it).

My Secret Crafting Unveiled

What do you think it is?

100 things

1. born in st louis, mo
2. born on the 4th day of the 4th month on the 4th floor in room 444, was the 4th child & lived at 4434 - my favorite number is 4
3. youngest child
4. only girl
5. brothers were 10 years + older than I
6. they were very rowdy and rebellious in their teens and twenties
7. i was fairly rowdy and rebellious in my teens and twenties
8. my oldest brother was killed when he was 29
9. It was really devastating
10. His son was 4 years old at the time
11. His son is now a hermit who rarely leaves his house and is obsessed with the internet
12. He doesnt talk to us anymore
13. We miss him, and are very sad for him
14. My mother graduated from nursing school when she was 50!
15. My Dad retired from Anheiser Busch - he was a bottler
16. When my Grandpa worked their - they could still drink beer on the job!
17. That same Grandpa fought in the Battle of the Bulge in WWII
18. My Grandma and Grandpa were married 3 times! love hate huh
19. My Grandma bought me my first 2 piece swim suit
20. I was completely obedient till I was 12 years old
21. My parents still live in the same house that I grew up in
22. My Godmother still lives next door
23. I was married at 20! not recommended
24. I stayed married for 10 years to that man
25. I got my first job (at dairy queen) when i was 15 and made $2.35 an hour
26. Ive always been a hard worker
27. I used to be strong as an ox, could do anything
28. I threw my back out gardening of all things, and havent been the same since
29. I waited tables for 16 years among other jobs
30. I did singing telegrams for a while...and wasnt very good honestly
31. I went to a Lutheran grade school, a baptist high school and a jewish college
32. I was raised assembly of god, a sect off of pentecostal
33. They danced in the aisles and spoke in tongues
34. I was open to it and asked the lord to speak through me...but it never happened
35. Im not a christian anymore - but not because of #34
36. My choice of fellowship is UU - or unitarian universalist
37. I think the Bible is a great story with many truths interwoven
38. Jesus was a cool dude
39. I want to be more like Jesus
40. I dont believe in Satan or hell
41. Im overweight
42. Ive never been a dieter
43. My belly is gigantic
44. I would like to get fit
45. I graduated college when i was 30!
46..I worked at Red Lobster for 6 years
47. My husband is the 6th born of 7 kids
48. His family is catholic
49. Dave (my husband) likes hockey, football and snowboarding
50. I played fast pitch softball for many years and was good at it
51. I was short stop or 3rd base
52. I took piano lessons for 7 years...age 7 - 14
53. my mom made me pracice 30 minutes a day nomatter what
54. i cried sometimes
55. my mom bought that piano with the tiny inheritance from her dad
56. she sent it to me 3 years ago with a gigantic red ribbon on top
57. i cried when it arrived
58. ive taught piano lessons on it
59. my son grant loves to play it
60. i love being a mom!
61. im soo very glad i didnt pass up the opportunity (to be a mom)
62. parenting is hard work!
63. im so glad we documented the birth on video
64. birth hurts
65. birth is empowering
66. my mom wont come next time hehe
67. i like floating (canoeing down rivers)
68. my husband and i have a goal to float all the nice rivers in missouri
69. spring rejuvenates me
70. im an idealist
71. im a pessimist hehe
72. im a bitch sometimes
73. im not patient
74. i have a big compassionate hearts
75. im defensive...TERRIBLY so
76. i like thunderstorms
77. i love puppies
78. im overwhelmed by the worlds problems
79. i LOVE LOVE LOVE nature and feel drawn to it
80. i want to be a park naturalist!
81. i dont want to hold snakes :)
82. i like microbrewed beer (and dont do bud light)
83. i enjoy having a full spectrum of friends - all very different
84. my house was pretty darn clean and organized before i became a mother
85. puke in one's bed in the middle of the night SUCKS
86. people are innately good
87. people are animals though
88. nature is not fair
89. christmas is overrated
90. christmas should be every other year
91. thai food is my favorite
92. italian is close behind
93. im not a good cook
94. luckily my husband is
95. i spend 4 minutes each morning primping
96. i look like hell
97. i used to be cute
98. who is this woman :)
99. i miss my little boy
100. I heart grant

WHEW that was a lot. if you made it this far...i owe you a beer. now your turn...whats your 100 look like?

Best first dance ever!

for some reason the video didnt want to post here...but if you have a few minutes to spare and want to see something refreshingly hilarious...follow the link and take a looksie.

shiverrrrrrrrrrrrr

Its a very dark cold night out there..thank goodness we are in here where it is snuggly and warm. The trees have on their icey gowns...and i bet the poor cows do too. I always feel for the critters out there who are just down right miserable when the weather is merciless like it is right now. Sure glad I am of the homo sapien variety and privileged at that...so i get to nestle down with my boys tonight..in our soft fluffy bed....without a worry in the world (ok thats a stretch).

HOpe you are getting cuddly with your own bears. Wonder what the morning shall bring.

baby got puke

Grant is throwing up sick. Just started tonight while we were grocery shopping. He got me GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD. We ended up just taking off our shirts and wearing our coats. Poor little guy. He wants to eat and nurse but just keeps horking it up. Little guy went to sleep on his own...wanted to nurse but just couldnt hold it down Should be a very interesting night. Wish me luck. If things dont get better I will stay at home with him tomorrow.

Stay warm

Toddlers Deserve Water

I feel sorry for toddlers who run around all day long with a bottle or sippy cup of milk, juice and or formula....without ever getting a refreshing drink of water! Dont you yearn for water? Im sure toddlers do to. I know grant does. He is a little fish...drinks lots of water every day.

Anyway...im just saying toddlers deserve water.

Im doing the friday dance im doing the friday dance....wooo hooo...and its even almost over! i had a fun day today..even though i spent too much money. how come it works like that?

left work at 9:45am (went in just to check email) for the chiropractor.........AHHHHHHHHHHHH...omg seriously...that felt sooo good. i was LONG overdue for some of that wacky adjustment stuff they do...and im telling you...i felt YEARS younger upon leaving that fine establishment. she asked me was was going on with my back..and i said it was "crunched" from cosleeping and grant nursing all night last night. she fixed it..said i was due for a tune up! love that place. have i mentioned they treat children for FREE???? thats another post i wanna do bc its beautiful thing..as is good chiro work on children...especially those with ailments.

then i bounced over to the girlie midwife for one of our most favorite things in the world..a pap! however...im almost ashamed to admit this...but i had fun! that was a first for sure. she greeted me with a hug and said how happy she was to see me and how it felt like forever even though it was only 2 years..and we just chatted about grant and the birth (which i LOVE to talk about as anyone who knows me can testify) and before i knew it it was over and she hugged me again. i didnt even feel anything painful. now that either means i am sooooo stretched out from birth that splunkers could have an outing down there without me knowing....or i really just was completely distracted the whole time. im praying its the latter! either way...it was the best pap i ever had period.

oh and btw..she said it sounded like i did just have a very early miscarriage this past cycle...made even more evident if this next cycle is text book (or normal for me etc). she also laughed about my husband being dead set about not having any more children...but not using any protection heheheh. i love him.

then i treated myself to a very nice lunch at a kinda fancy italian restaurant...being one of those lonely cat ladies with a good book..dining solo... i tipped very well and decided to run out to do some shopping..which is so unlike me. but i needed to seize the moment...bc if grant or my DH is with me...im tense and rushed ...even if they are not rushing me...i just have this sense of urgency....as in...lets get out of here before an entire diplay is broken on the floor kinda urgency. so i went and i conquered and i was inspired..and it was cool. im so excited about my little present crafty kinda thing im putting together. if all goes well im going to post them in my etsy store! fingers crossed. for now i will keep the project to myself in case things go terribly wrong and there is an explosion and people get hurt. but soon...i will unveil the....hint here....substance....hehe. and no im not a drug dealer (thats plan b hehe)

so i slide on into work around 2PM...it was sweet!

the weather here is supposed to be god aweful all weekend with ice and snow and frigid temps...time to cozy up and love oneanother.

peace

Sleepover - almost

In Honor of A

I belived that having children was a selfish act since I was 10 years old. Seriously. Thats pretty heavy for a 10 year old i admit. And i felt that adopting was the way to go...for there are plenty of innocent children who yearn to be loved, who needed to be home. Birthing a child when there were so many already available...would be like ordering a pure bred puppy when there are 1000s of unwanted animals being killed everyday. (i have 2 pound puppies but obviously decided to be selfish therefore had grant).

"A" came into our lives like a sudden summer thunderstorm, a welcome surprise, refreshing and so very exciting! Around 2pm I got the call; would we be willing to take a newborn? Ummm...I stuttered...im not sure...we dont have anything for a baby...and i wondered if we would know what to do with her. So i called my council...first my mom and then daves mom. Should we do it? I knew I wanted to...but i was nervous. But then i had the light bulb moment..and i knew she should come home with us! So i called back quickly and said PLEASE bring her! 2 hours later she was delivered to our doorstep. Dave had made a quick run to the store for supplies. He asked the matriarchs there what he would need for a newborn hehe. Smart thinkin.

There she was in her newborn glory. Tiny little warm thing. She was a pink bundle of love that had been born only 4 days before. It was truly surreal to pick her up and realize she was staying with us! Of course the bittersweet reality...was that she wasnt with her biological mom, so social services had placed her with a foster family for an unknown length of time. WE were that foster family. SHE was our first placement.

It had taken us 10 months to jump over all the hurdles - classes, home visits, inspection and then finally certification and then...the call we had been waiting for. Dave and I had ventured into the world of foster parenting hoping to help a child get through a difficult time in their lives. We never expected to have a newborn in our hands...but low and behold he she was completely innocent, vulnerable and perfect.

I was so ecstatic. We had a baby and we fell immediately in love. Even though I kept reminding myself...that this was NOT my baby and she would be going home someday...it was useless. As soon as we got that call that she would be reunited with her mother...i just lost it. Sure, that is the whole point of temporary placement...getting back with their family...but my heart doesnt understand that kinda rationale. The hardest part was that the mother wasnt truly ready to care for the baby. Turns out that the state separated her from her baby bc she was not on her psychiatric meds and they wanted her to get balanced again before handing the baby over to her. First I give the mom props for choosing to get off them because she was pregnant and didnt want to hurt the baby. Second I was irate at the judge. Why steal someone's baby just to turn around and say...oh we really didnt mean it. The mother was not stable when the baby was returned. That made it very difficult.

However, after just 7 days in our hearts and home, little A was going home. We asked if we could take her there and was granted permission. So dave and I drove north and brought baby A to her mama. We were greeted with "Hallelujah My Baby is Home!". She was so very happy to have her baby back indeed. She hugged and thanked us. Unfortunately the situation wasnt ideal, which made it harder on us really. We kissed A goodbye and both of us bawled hard core all the way home. I had never seen dh cry like that before.

She touched our hearts in a way that no one else ever could. To have a baby drop down from heaven like that really takes your breath away. We learned from her that we could indeed care for a baby, and were darn good at it. We learned from her that love overrules reason and rationale. We learned from her we wanted a baby of our own.

I have the utmost respect for foster parents. They are truly unsung heroes. Falling in love with children knowing that they could leave at any moment...is sooo taxing! and of course most children in the system are not innocent newborns, they come with heavy baggage. These children require extra special attention, love, rewiring and behavior modification. Even though this job is one of the hardest on earth, it is so necessary that people step up! When these children dont receive interim care in a real home, they are raised in institutions. Children who do not feel wanted and loved, become the criminals we all have to deal with. So the fact here is that, it IS our problem. I encourage you to consider foster parenting...at least at some point in your life. It is meaningful work indeed.

We did get placed with a second child. He was 12 years old and had just entered the system. His mom had abandoned the family for her first love - drugs,and dad was not raising them adequately. Anyhoo...that a WHOLE nother post...bc WHOA was it different than a newborn holy cats.

Dave and I have are not taking foster children at this time. We definitely think it is something we will do again when grant leaves home. Having more parental experience will certainly be a benefit.

Dear "A", I still love and miss you dear girl.

Scrooge IS Santa!

holy hump day....that went fast. my boss has been out because his sweet mammy passed on. alone i have been attacking the senior christmas party, the candy cane hunt and santas mailbox. its been fun though. even though we at home dont really celebrate christmas in all its glory...i sure do pump it out for the community at large. i have certain folks on my tight arse about not having a tree...even though my 2days from being 17 months old son would indeed scale & terrorize it causing us many melt downs, strains and other ailments. we arent even getting him a present hehe.

tomorrow night we are babysitting! its been forever since we attempted such adventure. grant's best friend TJ and his 8 year old brother keith are coming over while their parents get crazy at a holiday office party. im kinda looking forward to it...or maybe its just the casserole she promised to send over for compensation...yum yum.


well im going to go play with grant...usually involving trashing his room with every toy he has and then some. im sure some rock climbing and bungee jumping will round it off.

oh oh...im applying for a VERY VERY cool job ( thanks lindsey 4 the heads up!)and im just so excited. its actually in the field that was my original inspiration for this degree. the position is as a park naturalist...where i would be in charge of environmental education....ooohhhh im lusting. unfortunately that requires the process of applying...YUCK. its so damn tedious. however...its coming along. Im having to pull some rabbits out of old hats...so thats been challenging. wierd how college seems ions ago...even though it was just a little over 3 years when i was in that state of agony learning institution.

sweet dreams little birds